Closure Counseling is a short course of counseling sessions that a divorcing couple attends together to make peace with the end of marriage, explore what they can learn and take forward, and work through issues such as communicating productively, avoiding unnecessary legal expenses and co-parenting effectively.
No matter what the circumstances, or how quickly you get divorced and recover, going through divorce is a complicated process that can bring many challenges and a roller coaster of emotions. If you’re getting divorced you’ve likely gone through much thought and effort to arrive at this point, or perhaps your spouse made the decision for you and you have no choice but to go along. Whatever the case, you will undoubtedly heal and move on (even though it may not feel that way now), but there is much to work through and figure out along the way. You may elect to seek help with divorce recovery through individual counseling, but you may also find it helpful to participate in a brief course of Closure Counseling with your soon-to-be ex.
Increasingly, more and more couples are choosing to do Closure Counseling or divorce therapy together, in order to come to terms with the end of the marriage, improve communication, and learn how to co-parent productively after the divorce.
If you don’t get genuine closure when your marriage ends you’re more likely to bring the same issues into your next relationship. You may also find that you’re stuck in an endless loop of conflict with your ex for years to come. Couples who continue to fight after divorce may seem to be focused on disagreements over the kids or money, but quite often the real culprit is an underlying hurt, anger and sense of rejection or betrayal that was never dealt with properly at the time of the divorce. Sometimes these unresolved feelings manifest in a quest for retribution, which can involve years of court battles, parental alienation, fighting over children, or interfering with new and subsequent romantic relationships.
Closure Counseling can help you sort through the tumultuous feelings and unresolved issues that may be keeping both of you from healing and moving on. By holding a safe space for processing whatever you need to address with your soon-to-be ex, you’ll be a better parent and feel calmer and more grounded as you go through the divorce process. I will help you and your spouse part ways with as little anger, confusion, and volatility as possible. We will work together to minimize the emotional damage so you can make peace with the end of your marriage and come to a place of acceptance. Through Closure Counseling you can begin to create a clear, inspired vision for your future, one that is unencumbered by the ghosts of a wounded past.
What are the benefits of Closure Counseling?
- Understand what went wrong in the marriage
- Make any apologies or acknowledgments that feel important to express
- Learn what each of you can “own” that contributed to it not working
- Prevent yourself from repeating the same mistakes in other relationships
- Help the partner who doesn’t want a divorce to understand why the divorce is happening
- Determine how to break the news of the divorce to the children
- Make decisions about the children, including exploring visitation, custody, and co-parenting concerns
- Develop a vision for co-parenting effectively after the divorce
- Discuss values and create boundaries around dating and introducing kids to future, or perhaps, current partners.
How does Closure Counseling Work?
Typically Closure Counseling involves a short course of therapy in which both partners attend between one and ten sessions together. These sessions are usually 80 to 110 minutes in duration and may be scheduled weekly, bi-monthly or monthly, depending on your needs. In some cases, particularly when there are extenuating circumstances with children, couples may elect to attend Closure Counseling sessions for a longer period of time.